Pooping while injured

So they always say that you never know a good thing until it's gone. No truer words have ever been said.

I've had a couple injuries in the past year or two that were/are pretty serious. In 2008, I broke my right hand. As a right handed person, I tend to do most things with said hand. When your strong hand gets broken, you thank your lucky stars that you have two. The nly problem is that your reserve hand is highly unprepared for the emergency call to action.

After my trip to the ER, what was the first thing I did with my newly cast hand? I pooped, duh! With a fresh new injury, you tend to forget about your limitations. So it wasn't until I was mid-deposit that I realized I had to wipe with my left hand. It went surprisingly well. Some things were very difficult with my left hand like writing, brushing my teeth, eating with a fork/spoon, but not wiping. The motion felt pretty darn natural. The only difference was that I wiped a few extra times to make sure I didn't miss anything. It was just based on a lack of experience. You really develop a topological knowledge with your strong hand after years of wiping. You really learn how to clean yourself up nice.

Fast forward to present time. I badly sprained my left ankle about a week ago. It was so bad I couldn't put any weight on it until recently. I had a half cast that was secured using a couple bandages. I wore the half cast to sleep, so I had to keep the bandages clean. So when I had to poop at work, I made it a point to keep my foot off the dreadful restroom floor. This meant I had to keep my left leg up in the air while blitzing the bowl. I felt like I was at a bar in Texas riding a mechanical bull. It was bad enough that my cast was pretty heavy and tired my leg out, but the worst was that it threw off my whole balance. All my weight was resting on one cheek putting me at a slight angle. This worried me because I did not want all my children to brush past that cheek on their way to the pool. Luckily I wasn't visited by the diarrhea fairy and I escaped some big messes. Yesterday I saw a specialist and got my leg into a walking boot. It has a hard rubber sole so now I am back to balanced bowels!

Bliss!